What is going wrong in m life....
First, I just found out my grandmother is BACK in the fucking hospital again...they ned to run tests on her to make sure she doesn't have cancer..all this just 2 days before I'm scheduled to leave the country...I don't know what I'll do if I get the call while I'm away that she's been diagnosed, it would be comletely fucked up if whule going to see my healthy 80 yr old grandmother celebrate her birthday on a warm island in the carribean, my other 65 year old grandmother, has to sepnd her holiday in cold ass New York with the news that she has cancer. If there's anything in this world that would make me lose the already little faith I have in "God", its this...
Now, I'm fucked up in school again, of epic proportions, after I busted my asss to get off of probation, I may more than likely end up on it again, and I haven't told ANYONE this at all, not my closest friends, and definitely not my family. I'm going to end up letting them down again and my life will end up in another donward spiral in regards to my relationship with my family....I have a chem final scheduled on the morning I leave the country, I have to go to school tomorrow and get this rescheduled for me or I'm definitely failing, I have a paper due for another class, I haven't participated in clinical trials for a thid class, so I can't pass at all, and I've b]given up on the third class and opted to retake it next semester. I swear, school is the only thing to ever have me stressed out to the point of a complete mental breakdown....I am honestly considering either taking a break from it, or dropping out all together, there is no wa I can keep putting myself through this. I try to find motivation to do well, but it just turns into a chore and I get completely apathetic.....i don't know what to do anymore.
Well, that just sums up why I'm always content with life and not truly happy these days...in the words of Charles Hamilton: Lifes a bitch, why she touhching me for/I think its time we had a fucking divorce/I don't love her no more......
Rated-R-Rockstar.
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