So I typed out an entire heart-felt blog, and lost it because I pressed the wrong button on my Blackberry, Fuck. My. Life.
All I'm gonna say is this, over the weekend, I've ruined a potential relationship, and tainted two friendships, all because of my own stupidity. All I want to say is this: I don't want you (you know who you are) to ever think I don't give a fuck about you, because I do. I care about you so fucking much, and to know that I'm the one that made you hurt so much fucking kills me, I would never intentionally do that. I respect you and your beliefs, I would never make fun of you for that. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but you, and now that chance is forever ruined.
And to your bff, I know that everytime you've gotten at me has been out of love and that you are our biggest cheerleader, and I don't want you to feel that you've been talking to me in vain.
I can apologize until I'm blue in the face, but you can only hear "I'm sorry" so many times. My vow is to re-assess my behavior/psyche and to better myself, not only for the benefit of our friendships, but for the benefit of me becoming a better overall person.
Sincerely, The Rated R Rockstar.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Ummm....yeeaaaahhh.....
Lets see if this is gonna be short, or extra long (pause), soooo, the last couple of weeks have been not so cool.
Went to Long Island to chill with the Boondocks crew last weekend, and the most fun I had was playing beer pong with the fifteen and sixteen year olds (No R.Kelly). I mostly sat in the corner and BBM'd Jammin' F. Toolman (please say the Toolman), but that was my own choice, so I don't mind that. But the last 30 minutes were pretty sloppy for me.
First, they went off on the homeboy Theron, but they made valid points, so there's no real problem there. Then I made the mistake of bringing up Twitter....consider can of worms opened. There was a little twitter "argument" between me and one of them about a week back, but it is what it is, he thing that pained my brain was the fact they took damn near everything I say on twitter and analyze and scrutinize it as if the shit is blasphemy. They even go as far as to TEXT each other....about TWITTER...a site which, me, my own personal self, doesn't take seriously in the LEAST bit. I mean sure, there are some aspects of my tweets that are factual, like what I'm doing at the moment or whatever, but even that should be taken with a grain of salt. So, the main problem is that apparently, a lot of my tweets come off as mysoginistic...hmmmm...ehhh, I don't really think so, but I'll take their word for it before I put my foot in my mouth. Now, my tweets are based off a certain feeling at that particular moment, nt my lifelong outlook on things. After all, twitter is about rapid-fire micro blogging, isn't it ? Well according to some, I have maaaajor issues I need to deal with, so major, that they have to text each other about it. I'm sorry but that just baffles me, you're texting about twitter, hell, I take Facebook more seriously than I take twitter. All in all, the consensus was that I was an immature, mysoginistic guy who probably has hoes on the side, which leads to my mysoginy......yyeeeaaaahhhh, WRONG!! Now, I will admit I have my little nuances with women, but all men have that, and its vice versa, but I most certainly do not think ALL women are idiotic, irrational, psychopaths, that would be just plain stupid to generalize an entire gender like that, I actually have some semblance of intelligence.
Enough about twitter....that whole situation eventually spiraled off into a loooong BBM conversation with one of the L.I peeps about my recent behavior. I'm guessing all the drunken rambling and shit talking a little seriously, even though they should know me, and should know I'm totally not that type of guy, but that's just one of the problems with me, the rest won't be discussed. The thing that gets me is that these are people I consider close friends, yet they have a totally ass-backwards interppretation of how I am as a person, but I'll live, the people who know me, know me.
Cut to last night, so I finally decide to tell my mom that I'm going to Colombia...she flipped. Apparently, I need permission to go on vacation...uhhh FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU MY NIGGA!! I'm not ASKING to go on vacation, that has to be the dumbest shit I ever heard....wait...no...this is, she said "well, if you can pay for vacations and shit, you can pay for school!"...heh...first of all, you crazy bitch, HOW IS A $300+ DOLLAR PLANE TICKET AND ABOUT $200 DOLLARS IN EXPENSES THE SAME AS PAYING OVER $2,000 A SEMESTER FOR SCHOOL FOR FOUR YEARS ?!? Also, I DO PAY FOR MY OWN FUCKING EDUCATION!! GO kick rocks you dumb ass broad.....hey EPIPHANY: I just figured where some of my mysoginistic tendencies grew from, my hatred for my mother's utter and sheer stupidity!! BREAKTHROUGH!! Aaaaannnywaay, she is currently holding my passport hostage and not allowing me to go on this trip, if I go, I better move out she says...even if I don't go, I'm moving out, if I stay here any longer, I'm either gonna inflict physical harm on her, or kill myself. I know Colombia is a dangerous place, and that they worry about me, but I honestly don't care, its amazing how much I don't care, at this point I've grown so detatched from my family that they have become a slight nuisance in my life. I'll let you guys know how the vacation dilemma works out, until then, I'll plan a trip to Sesame Place, maybe they'll approve of that.
Until then, go fuck yourself...Rated R Rockstar...
Went to Long Island to chill with the Boondocks crew last weekend, and the most fun I had was playing beer pong with the fifteen and sixteen year olds (No R.Kelly). I mostly sat in the corner and BBM'd Jammin' F. Toolman (please say the Toolman), but that was my own choice, so I don't mind that. But the last 30 minutes were pretty sloppy for me.
First, they went off on the homeboy Theron, but they made valid points, so there's no real problem there. Then I made the mistake of bringing up Twitter....consider can of worms opened. There was a little twitter "argument" between me and one of them about a week back, but it is what it is, he thing that pained my brain was the fact they took damn near everything I say on twitter and analyze and scrutinize it as if the shit is blasphemy. They even go as far as to TEXT each other....about TWITTER...a site which, me, my own personal self, doesn't take seriously in the LEAST bit. I mean sure, there are some aspects of my tweets that are factual, like what I'm doing at the moment or whatever, but even that should be taken with a grain of salt. So, the main problem is that apparently, a lot of my tweets come off as mysoginistic...hmmmm...ehhh, I don't really think so, but I'll take their word for it before I put my foot in my mouth. Now, my tweets are based off a certain feeling at that particular moment, nt my lifelong outlook on things. After all, twitter is about rapid-fire micro blogging, isn't it ? Well according to some, I have maaaajor issues I need to deal with, so major, that they have to text each other about it. I'm sorry but that just baffles me, you're texting about twitter, hell, I take Facebook more seriously than I take twitter. All in all, the consensus was that I was an immature, mysoginistic guy who probably has hoes on the side, which leads to my mysoginy......yyeeeaaaahhhh, WRONG!! Now, I will admit I have my little nuances with women, but all men have that, and its vice versa, but I most certainly do not think ALL women are idiotic, irrational, psychopaths, that would be just plain stupid to generalize an entire gender like that, I actually have some semblance of intelligence.
Enough about twitter....that whole situation eventually spiraled off into a loooong BBM conversation with one of the L.I peeps about my recent behavior. I'm guessing all the drunken rambling and shit talking a little seriously, even though they should know me, and should know I'm totally not that type of guy, but that's just one of the problems with me, the rest won't be discussed. The thing that gets me is that these are people I consider close friends, yet they have a totally ass-backwards interppretation of how I am as a person, but I'll live, the people who know me, know me.
Cut to last night, so I finally decide to tell my mom that I'm going to Colombia...she flipped. Apparently, I need permission to go on vacation...uhhh FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU MY NIGGA!! I'm not ASKING to go on vacation, that has to be the dumbest shit I ever heard....wait...no...this is, she said "well, if you can pay for vacations and shit, you can pay for school!"...heh...first of all, you crazy bitch, HOW IS A $300+ DOLLAR PLANE TICKET AND ABOUT $200 DOLLARS IN EXPENSES THE SAME AS PAYING OVER $2,000 A SEMESTER FOR SCHOOL FOR FOUR YEARS ?!? Also, I DO PAY FOR MY OWN FUCKING EDUCATION!! GO kick rocks you dumb ass broad.....hey EPIPHANY: I just figured where some of my mysoginistic tendencies grew from, my hatred for my mother's utter and sheer stupidity!! BREAKTHROUGH!! Aaaaannnywaay, she is currently holding my passport hostage and not allowing me to go on this trip, if I go, I better move out she says...even if I don't go, I'm moving out, if I stay here any longer, I'm either gonna inflict physical harm on her, or kill myself. I know Colombia is a dangerous place, and that they worry about me, but I honestly don't care, its amazing how much I don't care, at this point I've grown so detatched from my family that they have become a slight nuisance in my life. I'll let you guys know how the vacation dilemma works out, until then, I'll plan a trip to Sesame Place, maybe they'll approve of that.
Until then, go fuck yourself...Rated R Rockstar...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
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