Why is my uncle laughing at me ?

DUDE!!! This vacation has seriously blown dick until New Years Eve/Granny's 80th birthday party. Let me tell you....

So I get back to Nevis from St. Kitts and I have to sleep on a mattress on the floor of the fucking living room because we gotta play Eight is Enough or some shit. SOOOO many relatives staying in one house, its like the fucking Waltons "goodnight John-Boy.." that kind of shit, all my old-heads know what I'm talking about. Anywho....so I wake up with a sore fucking throat from sleeping by the front door with no blanket, n a matress, that I share with my 23 year old 6'1 cousin...real poorman type shit...yeah, so i wake up with a sore throat and have to ride in the back of a pick-up truck to set shit up for the party, now I know why mexicans do that sit, its fun!! So while setting the place up, I find out I'm gonna be bartending that night (awesooome!) so I go home and get redy, head to the place an hour early. There alreasy like 10 ppeople there waiting, so i start knocking back Heinekens to get a lil buzz going and what not. We go through the whole happy birthday and say a couple of words shpeel, my grandfather is a lush, just like me, and he was fucking hilarious, putting the mic to his skull instead of his mouth and shit. Watching him and my dad battle dance was hilarious!! I couldn't get too drunk since I had to serve drihnks, so all I had was 7 beers.

Needless to say, it was a cool party, and I found out I'm not that bad of a brtender, I'm actually pretty good!!

The next day we went to the beach, the end.

Friday comes, and we have to head BACK to St. Kitts for a BBQ at my uncles house...can you say, free booze ? Anyway, we're waiting for the boat and there are two crazy homeless dudes singing and shit, funny stuff I thought I should mention...guess you had to be there. Anyways...we get to the house, and the first thing I do, besides greet my family, is eat some shrimp and crack open a Carib (you need to get up on that shit dawgs!), my family immediately starts wiht the "tale it easy, only a couple" and all that other mis-informed grow-up bullshit. HA!! I can drink you assholes under the table!!! So, one beer, turned to 7, plus five vodka cranberries....you know the rest. I tried to play dominoes wasted, FAIL!! I did serve drinks like a motherfucking champ though, that, I am proud of, best johnny and cokes you've ever fucking had my friend. The lasting im age I had on that island, was my uncle, looking at me, and laughing hysterically as I talked out of my ass like my last name was Bush, a proud moment that was.

So we go back on the 5 o'clock boat back to Nevis (get a fucking map ya moron) and then back to the house, where I proceeded to sleep for 14 hours at 6:30 p.m, and the last thought I remember having was "why was my uncle laughing at me ?"

Thank you, you have just wasted time you will NEVER get back by reading this. Sincerely yours..

The Rated R Rockstar.